it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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