I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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