I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
