I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
