I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
