Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
