so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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