why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
