this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize