Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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