I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
