is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
