I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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