take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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