I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
