just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
