maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
