We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize