I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
