I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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