kristin has been a bad kristin
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
