there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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