I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
