I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
