why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
