I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
