My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize