well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
