I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
