sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it glows. i had to have it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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