Whod you bang
kristin has been a bad kristin
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
