I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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