someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
