it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
