he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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