It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
