I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
