never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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