is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wish you could order shots online.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Randomize
