covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
