Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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