He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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