Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
