You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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