I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
