even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
