East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
