I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
