I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
