You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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