dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
