my being single is dangerous.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
the liver wants what the liver wants
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
