they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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