Pants 0. Shit 1.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
