He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
