And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
