I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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