oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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