Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This house was built for laser tag.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
