So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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