is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
