I want to have your abortion
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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