you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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