Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm not a real person

(586): View more from Michigan

I'm sorry, everyone knows that

Fav 4 1252 1290
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before

Fav 15 4932 863
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(702): View more from Nevada

Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?

(636): View more from Missouri

anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence

Fav 32 9115 1380
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(732): View more from New Jersey

there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

Fav 49 8103 2557
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(816): View more from Missouri

My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.

Fav 8 3609 1358
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(571): View more from Virginia

Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar

Fav 6 4868 1692
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(316): View more from Kansas

Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

Fav 10 1144 876
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.

Fav 2 201 349
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.

Fav 0 57 23
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