Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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(845): View more from New York

you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes

Fav 5 3633 1139
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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately

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(317): View more from Indiana

He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him

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(409): View more from Texas

Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime

Fav 1 442 128
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day

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