did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i think i just lost a toe
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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