At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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