I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
