Only a mothe r could love this liver
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
