remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I want a musical about memes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
