how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
