Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
