He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
